


Even when I close my eyes

by Blue_Apple_Queen



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:18:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17027628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Apple_Queen/pseuds/Blue_Apple_Queen
Summary: He had always thought that the gods favored him. After all, they had gifted him a fair share of blood and glory.It's not until they deliver a princess that he realizes how blessed he truly is.-Erik's PoV on S2E7 events





	Even when I close my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> And here I come again.

He had always thought that the gods favored him. After all, they had gifted him a fair share of blood and glory.

It's not until they deliver a princess that he realizes how blessed he truly is.

-

Men from Northumbria to Wessex would laugh at Erik Thurgilson's misery.

How had his greatest plan come to this?

She is not what he had expected. Then again, there hadn't been much to expect at all. He had thought that this  _ lady  _ would be a weeping, half-grown girl. Meek, defenseless and properly terrified of her Dane captors. A girl that would amuse his brother with her Christian ways.

She wasn't like that.

Her eyes were sharper than the tip of his sword and icy as his land of birth. Regardless of the stony silence she had kept on their way back to Beamfleot, her softness wasn't lost on him.  _ A cage or a ship?  _ She had asked him and Erik wouldn’t have realized she was shaking if he hadn’t been right behind her.

From the moment he caught her, arrangements were being made on his head to lock her up somewhere off sight. Anything else would be too tempting for his men and too dangerous for her. It would be no good to have the king’s daughter mistreated, he told himself. Aye, that was the sole reason of his actions.

His brother was too busy with celebrating her capture to actually do something about it. So, she was made Erik’s responsibility and thus he made sure she was safe. He had given her men of his own to guard her.

During the first days of her stay, she was no trouble. Dagfinn tells him that she eats, sleeps and prays, and does it over again at the dawn of a new day. He is able to keep her out of his mind until not.

He is told that she refuses to eat, so he goes to her and promises a private bath in exchange of her cooperation. On his way out, Erik hears her soft ‘thank you’ as he closes the doors.

It goes down from there. He takes her to bathe once, with a group of men behind him and a woman to help her. Then he takes her again; this time only him as a guard and the woman to help. Before he knows, Erik starts to make excuses to see her. He plays the generous lord, letting his men go down to feast and play games while he does the guard duty. He peeks through the cracks of the doors, and watches her sleep peacefully.

One time she calls his name, wishing him good rest. Erik doesn’t answer, biting his tongue just in case anything else comes out.

 

* * *

 

Half of Beamfleot thinks he’s humping her, the other half already thinks he’s put a child on her belly. Not that he blames them for thinking it. They are all wrong, of course, Erik is not humping her and he won't be doing it-not that he doesn't want to, but it is hers to give and not his to take; and she is a princess of Wessex and a _married_ lady of Mercia, she would never even think of a pagan in such manner.

Not to mention she'd be probably horrified to find out he thinks of her like this.

Many things he is, many things he has done, but Erik has never forced himself on a woman. And he doesn’t plan to do it any time soon.

Erik pointedly ignores all of the talk and gossip until his brother brings it to him.

‘’If see Alfred I’ll tell him that my brother is humping his daughter.’’ Sigefrid tells him, and Erik tries to laugh. He’s not sure of what would be better for his brother to believe.

‘’I can see that you like her.’’ Sigefrid points out.

‘’I would like to ride her, yes.’’ He tries to brush it off, keeping a smile on. His brothers palms his shoulder wholeheartedly.

‘’Then do it,’’ as he makes his way to the stairs, he yells. ‘’One tiny cock isn’t going to hurt her!’’

His smile slowly goes away. He has no doubt that if his brother were the one facing this feelings he would simply  _ act  _ upon them and see them satisfied, regardless of the lady wishes. Erik won’t, the thought makes him feel ill.

Maybe is because of it that he is so vicious against Haesten later. It goes beyond disobeying his orders,  _ he had tried to hurt her.  _ Erik was all too eager to make him bloody sorry for his actions. His fists descend on Haesten with no guilt.

“She is a  _ hostage _ !” The man screams at his face once he gets up.

“ _ She is  _ precious _! _ ” Erik screams back, barely noticing his slip. Something shifts on Haesten eyes and Erik knows it's too late to fix it, but he still tries. “She is of value!”

Then he kicks them out, both him and Dagfinn. The lady is on the floor, shaking. Erik offers a hand, not truly believing that she'd take it. Surprisingly, she does. Her petite, soft hand wraps around his as he pulls her on her feet.

“This should have not happened. It won't happen again.” He tells her, shamefully. He hopes that his face expresses how sorry he is. She says nothing, her eyes meeting his. “I apologize.” She remains quiet, and Erik thinks he is probably the last person she'd like to be with now. So he begins to make his way to the door. “Apologies.” He says again, and he means it, the Gods know he means it.

Her voice is what keeps him from leaving, low and soft, she speaks.

‘’It’s not the first man a man had mistreated me.’’

‘’Who else?’’ Whoever they are, they are dead. Aethelflaed doesn’t flinch back at his tone.

She shakes her head.

‘’Not here.’’ She musters. ‘’Before here.’’

His heart clenches on his chest. Who would have treated her harshly? She was a king’s daughter! Why hadn’t anyone protected her? Fire lights on his belly, but the lust for blood doesn’t reach the surface, for she continues before he can say anything else.

‘’Now I know what to do should it happen again, I…’’ a smile forms on her lips, ‘’I’ll use my bucket.’’ Then she adds,

‘’And a knife.’’

He nods.

‘’You should.’’

Her eyes haven’t left his, and her face is open, illuminated by the faint light of the candles. What else he could possibly say? He’s not a Saxon, he doesn’t have their way of pretty words. Yet something tells him that’s not what she needs.

He pulls a small smile of his own.

‘’You are precious, lady. Sleep well, safely.’’

This time, he makes sure to look at her as he leaves.

Later, when he goes to sleep, it’s her face he sees when he closes his eyes.

 

* * *

 

It’s not lust what he feels, Erik comes to realize. _  Fascination.  _ There is something about her. There are words that can express it, but he doesn't dare to name them.

He had always thought that the gods favored him. After all, they had gifted him a fair share of blood and glory.

It's not until they deliver a princess that he realizes how blessed he truly is.

That’s why, when he takes one glance at the night sky, clear and with a full moon, Erik decides that the Gods have sent him a signal. He makes sure to get everyone off his way and takes the lady to have some fresh air.

He makes her laugh, and it’s a glorious sound.

They are leaning close to one another and that emboldens Erik. Gently, he cups her chin with his fingers and she doesn’t back from his touch, rather turns to it. ‘’I’ve never seen a face like that. Now I see it, even when I close my eyes.’’ He confesses, and his chest feels tight with an emotion he can’t name.

Then he remembers who she is.

‘’Your husband is a fortunate man.’’

He resents the man because of his luck, for he knows what is like to wake up by her side.

‘’My husband does not see me.’’ She musters.

‘’Then he’s blind, or stupid.’’ Those are the only reasons he can count.

“He's not blind.” 

Suddenly, he knows.

“And... he's not gentle with you, I guess.” He boils inside with anger against this man, who can call his such a precious woman, who is supposed to protect and care for her, yet decides to harm her. “He's the one who mistreats you.” 

She does not deny it. “He's not the man I'd choose to be with.”

His eyes lower to her lips, and until she reaches for his face, it doesn't occur him that  _ he _ might be.

Erik kisses her.

**Author's Note:**

> You liked it please let me know!


End file.
